JUST THE TWO OF US!

After like forever of not having a stable boyfriend, I finally found one. I won’t call it that whirlwind romance or the forever together syndrome kind of relationship but I still wanted to keep it going even though I knew it’s just for some weeks.

I meet people who say after the first and second date, you should be able to tell if someone is right for you but I never went on any date with him, he was just this person I see every day and spend my sleeping and waking moments thinking about, but despite this I knew we couldn’t make the relationship work no matter how hard I try on my part. But despite knowing this fact, I still thought I’ll scale through after all it’s my happiness first but I wasn’t prepared for the aftermath.

Chapter One

I’ve only heard of whirlwind romance, true love and all those straight out of Hollywood kind of love or fairytales, I’ve never experienced one firsthand. So even though I act like I don’t care or conjure up stories of my perfect romance and feed it to friends and foes alike, I still have a strong desire to feel the real deal, but for so long it never came my way.

 I was lonely and I knew it but I was going to bite my tongues off before letting anyone know I was. I didn’t know why I find it hard to tell people I’m lonely maybe it’s because I feel it would be ungrateful of me to say such when I’m surrounded by a lot of people around me. Until I realise you could be the most popular man on earth and still feel the ache of loneliness.

 

So after like forever of not having a stable boyfriend, I finally found one. I won’t call it that whirlwind romance or the forever together syndrome kind of relationship but I still wanted to keep it going even though I knew it’s just for some weeks.

Despite knowing it wouldn’t work no matter how much I try on my own part, I still thought I’ll scale through after all it was my happiness first but I wasn’t prepared for the aftermath. I knew he wasn’t my type of man from the onset but I went ahead and dated him because I was lonely. It turned out to be a decision I’ll forever regret.

The Beginning

(My part)

 Seeing him every day living right next door to me was more than I could handle. I needed to stay sane but every moment with him make me realise how utterly crazy my feelings for him will drive me if I don’t do something about it. And it’s either I give my feelings for him a chance or I put an end to it.

 

Putting an end to it sounds like an easy task to do when I’m in the four corners of my room but the moment I come face to face with him, I realised it’s going to be a lot more harder than just a  resolution.

 

I go to bed everyday thinking about him, telling myself it is okay to like someone but the unacceptable is showing it, you can’t show the world (especially him)  you’ve fallen head over heels in love with him , you don’t want to be laughed at, trampled on and taken for granted. These and many more lies I feed to myself trying to salvage the situation, but the feelings didn’t go away until I began to be more realistic. Actually I don’t care if I’m trampled upon , mocked or taken for granted, all I care about is that I am in his arms feeling that great muscles that always flex beneath his shirt, running my hand on his smooth and silky skin, well I don’t know how his skin feels yet but at least that’s how it looks from afar when he is shirtless and doing a little bit of gardening at his backyard.

STAY TUNED TO MY SIDE OF THE STORY WITH ZACKIE LAUREN FOR MORE…….

PHOTO CREDIT: GOOGLE

 

Don’t Tag them Haters❌❌ but critics✔️✔️

Yeah I’ve been wanting to address this issue of haters and hoes for a long but an opportunity hasn’t presented itself. Now it has.

For what reasons are you being hated upon, who has hated on you? What business are your haters into?

Don’t you like the idea of business magnates hating on you? People you can proudly point out as your haters, cause that shows you’re actually worth something.

Are you worth the hate?

I’m sure you must have heard of Simon Cowell and Donald Trump, I don’t know which one receives the most hate. But those two are badass entrepreneurs, shrewd business men who are damn good at what they do and don’t give a damn what you think about them. I personally think they are worth the hate.

What is their societal standing?

I personally wouldn’t want flaunt an hater who is of no value whatsoever to the society or themselves. Don’t flaunt haters, 1st don’t come down to their level, it’s muddy water 💧.

What is their religious or moral standard?

This ain’t for everybody but the religious🕍🕌⛪ ones, if you find yourself in this category, you shouldn’t think about people hating on you. Instead put your religion into practice and love✔️ them in return. After all I don’t remember a religion that teaches it’s followers to screw their haters.

But lastly, remember there are always gonna be people that you think hate you, but what about you look at the bright 🔆 side and tag them CRITICS. Professional Critics get paid to give reviews but you don’t get to pay your haters❌❌ sorry critics ✔️✔️to give you reviews, they do it voluntarily and sometimes even better than professionals. Speaking from experience, this so called CRITICS help you grow🆙.

Doesn’t matter if you are loved or appreciated, just keep being your best,never let two dealing bastards have a say in your happiness.

Damn, your life is 100% yours, you may decide to let them have a say in it and you may not, but sincerely I’m telling you it’s better to be the deputy chairman of your life, after God of course. Don’t make your life a democracy where bloody civilians have the right to vote, because it wouldn’t be funny when this same civilians vote you out of the government of your own life.

Some folks out there already have boring lives, so they feed on the drama in your life, it can be either with them or without them. You think you’re fighting with them, but in the real sense, you are entertaining them. That doesn’t necessarily mean they ain’t gonna partake in the drama, infact they can even take lead roles and relegate you to supporting roles. The whole essence of what I’m saying here are; Never give anyone too much importance in your life, we’re all human and we ain’t immune to pride and self importance.
Try as much as possible to not allow circumstances with friends, family, lovers or neighbors to take away that sweet smile from your face. Remember, you are never fully dressed without a smile.

God first, but after God, who else? You of course, if God is the pilot, pick up your gear, and be his assistant, don’t let one friend from no where come and take your spot in your own life.I don’t have time for story that touches the heart ♥

Photo credit: gettyimages

Well since I like to think of myself as a good girl, I would say you should treat people better than the way they treat you, though I was supposed to say you should treat people exactly as they treat you, in fact clone the treatment, and mete it out the same way to them, but as the good girl that I am, I will stick with the first.
Finally I would say, be the Hero of your own story.

CUTTING ALL TIES

As best friends go, my male best friend is an awesome guy who I probably took as a brother. We were closer than just friends, closer than I was with my biological brother and even my boyfriends didn’t have a stand where he is. Yeah we are that close.

But I guessed it was my wrong to assume that what I felt for him or the way I perceive him was the way he actually perceived me too. Yeah because I actually realized later on that my relationship with him was overrated or so I thought, never got to know his mind though and that I’m sorry about.

I don’t regret the times we spent together, in fact it’s far from that, I actually relive those moment;

• Do not run from confrontations.

Yeah that has always been my greatest weakness, I find it extremely hard to confront my friends when we’ve got issues and before long, things have gone past repair.

• Air your views.

Don’t give the attitude that you’re okay with how the friendship is about to end, air your views, say your mind and move on.

• Have a one on one heartfelt talk with the friend.

Yeah this may sound impossible but it will actually help you to deal with the questions why. Many of my relationships with friends have ended without me knowing what I did wrong and that had kept me in doubt for sometimes years to come. You might realise when having that heartfelt talk with that friend that it was all a misunderstanding and if you may resolve it then and there, but if it isn’t a matter to be resolved, what do you stand to lose.

• Try to bring in third party

Actually I’m not telling you this because I’m a big fan of third party but then if ego won’t let you sort your issues out with that friend, why not talk to a mutual friend you both trust about your issues and maybe he could help resolve it by talking to both of you separately or together. Make sure the third party is who your friend hold in high esteem.

• If the relationship won’t work, drop it like it’s hot.

Yeah I see friends patching up friendship and I’m like stop pretending to be friends if it aint working no more. Why will I want to remain friends with someone who has a penchant for gossiping about me? The fact that I end the friendship doesn’t mean I hate such friend, it just means I can’t handle another heartbreak.

• Focus on being a better person.

Work on yourself and build a better life, not everyone need friends in life, I don’t remember friends been among the basic necessities of life, although it’s an added bonus to have friends. So be better than when your friends left you so you don’t become an object of mockery to them.

I’m not saying this is tested and trusted, I’m still working towards being a better person, let’s go on this journey together. Don’t just cut all ties, try to retighten them and see maybe they can still function.

This is my side of the story,I would like to hear yours.

Chin Chin Recipes (You can do it yourself)

Chin chin is one of the most acceptable Nigerian snacks, it’s loved by many, I personally think it’s the most preservable snacks there is since you could save it up in an airtight container and boom you’ve got your snacks for weeks if you’re not addicted to it like me.

Ingredients:

Flour (2.5kg)

sugar (500g)

Butter (or margarine)

Nutmeg (As desired)

Baking Powder (600g)

Milk (As desired)

Egg (3)

Water

Groundnut oil for frying.

Salt (1/2 tsp)

Personally I add coconut flavor and orange flavor. Yeah I do. I’m different that way.

STEPS FOR PREPARATION

1.  Measure dry ingredients into the bowl and mix
2.  Measure butter or margarine into already measured ingredients and mix.
3.  Beat egg and add into milk.
4.  Pour the mixture of egg and milk into mixed flour.
5.  Add water and mix thoroughly to form dough
6.  Put a small portion of the dough on a surface which has been floured (tray). Cut into stripes and dice.
7. Sprinkle little flour on the diced flour and fry. Continue with the same process until dough is exhausted. Deep fry until lightly brown.

You’ve got your sweet crunchy chin chin. Enjoy!!!!!!!

And yeah don’t forget to save it in an airtight container, you dont want your chin chin being too soft and uncrunchable (lol).

DO IT YOURSELF (DIY)

I’m starting a series in which I’ll be writing about the things I’m learning everyday. You can come here to ask for any topic and I’m gonna do a thorough research about it for you. Yeah leave it to me to do that.

TOPICS INCLUDE AND NOT LIMITED TO:

1. Recipes for:

(a) Cakes

(b) Foods

(c) Soaps (liquid, bar antiseptic)

(d) Creams (hair cream, body cream)

(e) Fries (chin chin, buns, puff puff,doughnut)

(f) Drinks (kunu, zobo, chapman, fresh orange drink, yoghurt).

All these and many more. Sit back and enjoy the roller coaster, there may be bumps but no worries, we are safe.

Thanks in advance

SIGNED.

Zackie Lauren.

FROM THE SHELF OF MY HEART

I had often applied the word half is better than none to most aspect of my life and even in my relationships.  It had done me more harm than good, and I’d ended up sticking with partners who are not even up to a quarter of my set standards. Because I’d not wanted to come on as having too much standards or being too choosy, I’d gotten a shelf full of partners who are just gathering dust and the most painful is they are all not up to one good boyfriend. And at this point I think being single pays than being stuck with them all.

All my life I’ve never being physically single but my emotion is screaming single. I’ve done well to hide the fact that I’ve just gotten all this boyfriends on my shelf , I’m still single and lonely. I’m always the first to point out how my boyfriend is the best and how much he loves me, blah blah blah , even though I don’t believe these words myself. But at least those are what I want in a partner and it sure ain’t my fault that I’m not getting it.

Now that I’m ready to face my fears, I admit that I’ve being dating because I’m afraid of being lonely, and in that vein I refuse to ever break up with my partners and I kept pouring water into baskets because I knew those relationships wasn’t gonna work but instead of moving on and forgetting about them, I kept placing them on the shelf of my hearts, flipping through their pages again and again. I’d consoled myself with the thought that I’m gonna clear them all from the shelf of my heart when I get a real boyfriend. But I have learned to accept the fact that I’m responsible for my happiness and I shouldn’t continue tying my happiness to anyone.

 I’m not saying they weren’t real from the onset but I’d not had it in me to completely forget about one before moving into a relationship with another without totally breaking the former off. At first I’d thought I was happy with the setup until I realised how absolutely lonely, sad and miserable I am. Living my life that way had done me more harm than good, worse of which is the inability of eligible guys to actually see the real me, since what they see while looking at me is a lady in a happy relationship, and they wouldn’t want to make a pass at me.

The first step in solving a problem, is accepting the fact that there is one. So I decided to do a general clean up of the shelf of my heart. I offloaded them all damning the consequences of me being lonely. I was terribly lonely with them in my life already so how lonely could I get without them?

Read this article also on issuu

I wouldn’t say I immediately got this instant fulfillment or I instantly forgot ‘bout them all but one thing is that I stood my ground and so I didn’t falter.

So if you ever find yourself in this situation, I’d advise you quit the relationship because it’s better to be single than being with a man/woman who doesn’t even weigh up to a quarter of the criteria’s you’ve  set.

Be happily single instead of miserably dating.

• Single by choice.

INCHOATE LOVE

via Daily Prompt: Inc

Walking away was hard but I had to do it. Refusing to look back at him, I pushed forward with the last ounce of strength in me.

We’ve thought everything is gonna be rosy forever, but now I realize it’s immature to think so, there’s gonna be ups and downs in our journey and we so ain’t ready or prepared for that.

We want the happily ever after without really thinking of all what might go wrong.I guess we believed in the fairy tales about relationship and that is inchoate of us.

Now saying goodbye is the right thing to do, I hope we meet again cos I believe we’re gonna be more matured and prepared for a relationship.

 

Signed.

The Inchoate Lover

 

 

 

 

SPACE INVADER

Looking at her waltzing round the building,

I remembered all the time she had spent in my arms,

Though her gait and air of togetherness makes me feel like I’m the only one who do.

I hope she has that image stuck in her head the way it does in mine.

Although her body language says otherwise,

I can’t help but wonder if she is an alien.

Oh, yeah that will explain it all since she has all the genetical make up of one.

After days of having this same thoughts flooding my mind, resulting in sleepless nights,

She finally walked up to me accusing me of being all this,

I’m surprised you walk around here like nothing happened, she said

Dont you have the image of us stuck in your head?

Smiling up at her, ever confident, I answered

NO, I don’t, do you?

 

Photo credit: Google

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A room of my own

I fantasize every hour about having a room of my own.

No siblings, parent or friends to intrude.

Oh, how liberated will I feel?

Not waking up to the snore of anybody but beautiful silence.

A room of my own is what I want when I get to college.

Unfortunately a room of my own was a luxury I can’t afford.

Then I resolved to getting a room of my own after college.

This took me a year of shrimping and saving.

Wow, I didn’t just get a room of my own, I got a house of my own.

Yeah, I was the lord of this house, free to do as I please.

For the first few weeks, I lived my fantasies.

The silence was beautiful almost heavenly, the privacy was awesome.

After some weeks, I dreaded going back to that room of my own.

The silence was deafening, the privacy was boring.

And it makes me long for the chaos caused by living with friends, parents and siblings.